When your child does confront a fear and hears your comforting, “It will be okay,” (or gets the same message from daddy holding her hand) she will feel more secure that she can deploy in other trying times. Post navigation ← Previous Post. Some are the normal fears of childhood while others are not. Noté /5. If it is fear of school, what specifically is involved? A number of approaches can be made to lessen the child’s fears. A few fear-reducers include: “I can do this.” “I can handle this.” When helping your child to confront fears, find out what feels comfortable. It is probably safe to say that every child has fears in varying degrees. At other times, phobias disappear without treatment as the child becomes more able to deal with her emotions. It is the role of the parent to reassure a frightened youngster. Parents need to recognize the fact that the room looks totally different to the child when the lights are out and should take steps to reassure the youngster even if the fear seems completely irrational to the parents. In a survey a number of years ago, the fifteen most common human fears were identified, some of which relate to children’s fears. How to disconnect to reconnect so you can grow and have fun together. Allison explains: “If a parent sees something they are frightened of, they might squeeze the child’s hand just a little bit tighter.” A child can sense a parent’s anxieties and, therefore, will associate that object, situation or animal with danger. Youngsters who are angry can think, “I hate him. It's important to remember not to joke about it. Choose the dentist and his clinician carefully. Do a thorough ‘search’ of your child’s room for monsters, showing there are none there. Don't force your child to do more than that. If you completely protect your child from their fears, this will only reinforce in their minds that there is something to be scared of. It keeps us and our children out of harm’s way. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Clear up misconceptions. Teach your child to face the fear by helping her learn to say a positive phrase. The fearful child Some children are more fearful than others. A number of approaches can be made to lessen the child’s fears. Helping Your Child. Be sure that he knows he is not. Copyright © 1999-2019 Parenting Today, LLC - All Rights Reserved. Show her how to hold and pet the animal – this lets her know that, when the animal is treated gently, it is perfectly safe and friendly. Our recommendations for books on child development for parents. Children, especially babies and toddlers, learn by example and look to their parents or caregivers to make sure what they are doing is safe. Becoming a parent makes you more aware of your fears. She was there to meet her eldest daughter who, she explained, was terribly afraid of the dentist and could not go into the dental surgery alone. Monsters, ghosts or darkness: Reduce exposure to frightening stories in books and on TV until your child understands the difference between reality and imagination. By slowly helping them adapt, you can ease their fear and prepare them to cope on their own when they’re older. Helping Your Child Deal with Fears & Phobias It is probably safe to say that every child has fears in varying degrees. Steps to overcoming fears and phobias: Learn relaxation and self-calming skills such as progressive relaxation, breathing techniques, and visualization. This can provoke an attack or a bite, and then it will doubtless be a considerable time before the youngster’s fears can be fully overcome. For print and online advertising opportunities, click here to contact our team. For example, “Dogs can be scary, but this one lives right next door, and he wants to be your friend.”. This Christmas, Disney Pixar is releasing a heart-warming and emotional movie called The Good Dinosaur that stars a fearful young dinosaur called Arlo. Identify the child’s fear for him. Use a night light but experiment with its placement to be sure that it does not create all sorts of frightening shadows. Be reassuring if the child thinks he was responsible for a death. “Parents may have had the phobia for their entire life but having children triggers a want to overcome their phobia so their children won’t exhibit the same feelings.” Those who suffer from phobias react in an irrational way but, as Allison says, “The person isn’t doing it out of any badness; they literally don’t feel able to control their response.” In such cases, we are teaching our children to fear the results. According to Allison, a lot of people don’t actually treat their phobias because they are so terrified of them – but when they become parents, they suddenly become aware of how they can pass on their phobia. ), Identify the child’s fear for him. Or, worse still, your child learns that acting afraid (without actually … Don’t transmit your own fear. Don’t transmit your own fear. That dog is probably afraid of you.’ Let the child move at her own pace. It’s a fact of life that children do need to go to the dentist at regular intervals so their fear must be dealt with and overcome. Recently, I got chatting to a lady in a dentist waiting room. Is it fear of school or fear of leaving home? In helping your child deal with fears and phobias, parents must walk a line. Skills and confidence to overcome fears so that they aren ’ t evolve into phobic reactions teach youngster... Control it feels really fear death until he has absolutely no control over the situation there are there... 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